Mary Elaine McCormick, of La Mesa, passed away peacefully in her home at the age of 89. She was born in San Diego to Ben and Gertrude Hoffner. Mary graduated from Hoover High School and Santa Barbara State College. She married her high school sweetheart, Joe McCormick, on December 24, 1942 in Yuma, Arizona. Mary was a wonderful wife, mother and a loyal, giving friend. Mary enjoyed the outdoors as she and her husband traveled extensively in their motorhome and enjoyed many, many trips across the United States together. She was an avid gardener and talented seamstress who sewed many of her four children’s clothes as they were growing up. Mary, along with her quilting friends, made and donated thousands of baby quilts, bibs, knitted caps and booties for several local charities, including Catholic Charities, Polinsky Children’s Center and Sharp Mary Birch Hospital.
Mary is survived by her husband of over 68 years, Joe McCormick, four children John McCormick (Kathy), Trudie Keough (Tom), Marty McCormick (Leslie), Eileen Bird (Dan), nine grandchildren and five great-grandchildren.
The above facts in my mother’s obituary provide the major markers in a full and productive life but perhaps need some detail to better understand who she was as a person. Her father, Ben Hoffner, was a self made man who came to California at the age of 10 from Wisconsin. He became a backcountry ranger in the Sierra, who traveled his territory by horseback with a pack string. After marrying a school teacher in Ely Nevada, he gave up the freedom of the hills for a more steady job at North Island. He taught himself Greg shorthand and rose to be the civil servant head of the supply department for the base. He was a co-founder of the North Island Credit Union though he never had a high school education. He loved being outdoors and gardening was what he did after work. Vacations involved camping in the mountains and Mary enjoyed this very much, his wife not so much.
Mary’s passion for books and education were heavily influenced by her mother. Her graduation from Santa Barbara State College with a major in home economics probably reflected that influence. Mind you, the demographics of college graduation for women were much different in 1943. As an only child, she had the confidence to believe in her own judgment over the herd or anyone in authority. An example of that was when she went to a priest at Blessed Sacrament to get permission to marry Joe, who had joined the Army Air Corps at the start of World War II. The priest wanted my father to receive instruction because he wasn’t a Catholic. Mary said this was not possible because Joe only had three days of leave from pilot training. It became a contest of wills. Mary then made the ultimatum. If permission was not granted, she would get married outside the church. The priest wisely relented. All the family chipped in their gas coupons and Ben loaned his car so they could get married in a small church in Yuma.
The Parks street home in La Mesa was originally owned by her father Ben. A chicken farm was located close to it in the 1940’s and he used a wheelbarrow to bring the fertilizer to the back yard. Mary used this great soil as a starting point for her composting efforts. The back yard became the canvas for her artistry with growing things. In addition to avocado, tangerine, fig and apple fruit trees, she specialized in vegetables like beets, pod peas, potatoes, lettuce and chard. Mixed with the edibles came flowers for every season, orchids, perennials and annuals which kept the yard in color year round. Her excellent cooking skills made good use of the bounty produced by her organic and local approach to food production.
Mary was not the kind of person who talked about her religion, but rather acted it out in her daily life. One example of this was the quilting group she organized from friends made at various sewing classes. Groups of up to twenty women would come to the Parks Avenue home to sew and tie the quilts. A pot luck lunch would be the only interruption in their efforts. In her words “When I have made about 80 quilt tops I invite some friends from quilting class to meet at my house and we put the backing and batting and tops together by sewing machine.” These quilts were initially given to the home for unwed mothers at Blessed Sacrament in the early 90’s. As the production quantity increased, they were also given to the Polinsky Children’s Center, Sharp Memorial Hospital and Catholic Charities. This year the group got together in April and produced 400 quilts. These fine women showed by their good works the true meaning of charity and Christianity.
My mother was kind to others without being meddlesome. Even in the final stages of lung cancer, she had kind words for her caregivers. She was not a whiner and never complained about the gradual loss of freedom the disease made her fate. She refused palliative medication and died as she lived, on her own terms.
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John, this is a beautiful story of your mom's character. She must have been so proud of you, as she was all her children and grandchildren. There will surely be many moments of sorrow when you remember her and miss her physical presence, but knowing you mother (not as well as I would have liked, unfortunately) I feel certain she would have you smile at the many happy memories you shared.
ReplyDeleteIt's so hard to lose a mom, I know. Everything is a sad "first", which you will note for several years.
You did good. She is proud of you, and surely your dad is too.
I only hope my own life is remembered as well.
I am so sorry you are all hurting now. That is a consequence of life and death which none of us are able to avoid.
I wish you peace of mind and strength.
Love you,
Amy
John, thank you so much for taking the time during your griving to give us the history of Mary. It was very interesting. She was a special person, and she will be greatly missed. She will always have a special place in my heart. I will never forget the enjoyable days I had visiting with her at quilting on Fridays, especially, when Joe came to pick her up only to find she had more material that people had given her to take home. I also will never see a beet that I won't think of her. She was a very special person that touched the lives of many with her love and compassion. Dorothy Stout
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